Fate...

Fate: the development of events beyond a person's control, regarded as determined by a supernatural power.

Do you believe in fate? Do you think that everything happens for a reason? I sure do. I always have but now more than ever. 

If you know me, you know I believe in God's plan. (not that I'm overly religious) but I know in my heart that God has a plan for each of us. I've also learned over the last 8 months that you have to follow your heart. Listen to your heart and it will lead you in the right direction. 

You know the app TimeHop? The one where it shows you things from a year ago, 2 years ago, etc.... It will even go back as far as 8 or 9 years if you had Facebook back then. Well, I look at my TimeHop every day, or at least I try to. I've especially enjoyed it when it shows cute pictures of my son or memories from college days when we were young and carefree. But then there are times when I don't love TimeHop because it shows me something that I'd rather forget. Like when I used to hashtag 'tripod' - it brings up too much emotions about how life used to be. Well, today TimeHop showed me pictures from last year when my whole life started to fall apart. Everything I'd known for so long was about to change. Life as I knew it was no longer. 

The snowball that was my breakup started rolling downhill a year ago. It's kind of crazy to think about how much has changed in a years time. I'm different than I used to be, not only because I wanted to change but because I had to. I feel like I'm back to my old self again: happy, joyful, grateful, living life with a positive attitude. Don't get me wrong, there are days when I am not all of those things. There are still days I'm mad about what happened and there are still times when I let negativity get the best of me. But I'm saying in general, I feel positive. I feel like I handle things in a better way. 8 months of living back at home, my happy place, the place where my life began, has gotten me back to being me. I enjoy being happy and looking at things in a positive way. I love when people make me laugh and when I smile so much my cheeks hurt. Its not rainbows and butterflies all of the time but I am immensely grateful for everything I have in my life at this very moment. 

I have God's plan, and fate to thank for everything that's in my life right now. When my life was changing, I started to question everything. I didn't understand. I didn't want this to be happening. Why me? Why us? What did I do to deserve this? I asked myself these questions and many more a million times. I overthought and over analyzed everything. I racked my brain for answers. I prayed to God for answers. I begged for understanding. But then I decided I needed to follow my heart. I needed to listen to what my heart was telling me. I needed to trust God's plan. Fate is real and it will lead the way. So I put my blinders on and took it all one day at a time. I did the next best thing. I made one step at a time to creating a new life. Starting over, alone, for me and for my son. I had to. And now here I am, a year after this all started. How crazy. 

I have a strong feeling that God has a lot more in store for me. There are amazing things in my future. I can feel it. <3

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