Adventures In Co-sleeping...
So, this is a topic that I have been wanting to write about for awhile because I think it is worth being shared.
As many know, and some dont, there is a difference between co-sleeping and bed sharing.
Co-Sleeping: "Though many may assume that co-sleeping means that parents and baby share the same bed, Dr. William Sears stresses that definition is a bit too narrow. Sears, a well-known pediatrician and author of many parenting books, defines co-sleeping as sleeping within arm's reach of the baby." (source)
Bed sharing: Just as it sounds, parents share a bed with baby. So it is more like a family bed, everyone is one bed together.
When our son was born, I knew that bed sharing was not recommended. I knew the risks of having your infant child in your bed with you. While we were in the NICU, upon discharge, they go over a lot of information and one of the topics was bed sharing, which they called co-sleeping, and they said NEVER to do it as it is not safe. We already had it in our mind that we would not be doing that, so it was just a repetition of something we'd already heard.
We did, and continue to, have our sons crib in our room. Our current living situation is a studio apartment type, where we have one big open space and our son has his own little area and then we have ours, but it is an open room, so no dividing walls between our room and the 'nursery'. I was happy with this as we'd be able to get up with our son overnight very easily.
So were we bed sharing? No. But were we co-sleeping? Yes.
Our son only slept thru the night for a short time, and it wasn't consistent. He still gets up at least once overnight.
Would he be sleeping thru the night if he was in his own separate room? maybe...but for now, this is what works for us.
And, breastfeeding is far too important to me, that I am not willing to take that away from him especially the overnight feedings.
And then, last Christmas time, we went to visit family, and my son absolutely refused to sleep in the pack n' play. And we tried, and tired, and he was not having it. at all. So to save ourselves and the family we were visiting, and let everyone get some sleep, we let him sleep in the bed with us. This was the first time we ever shared a bed in his whole 10 months of life. We had never once had him in our bed before this. Well, after we got home, things didn't go back to normal so easily. He continued to want to be in our bed with us, and to be honest, we let it continue.
I looked into and researched different methods, cry it out, ferber, sleep training, I looked into all kinds of options and I just wasn't okay with anything I was reading.
Not only am I not okay with letting my baby cry it out, but we also live with other adults who should not have to listen to our baby continue to cry while we try to "sleep train" him.
I know there are parents who do this, and that is complete okay, and if it works for them, that is great. But for us, it just doesn't work for our family situation.
So, we let him share our bed, and I worked on getting him into his crib for some of his sleep.
Where are we at now? Our son takes his naps in his crib. Some days he takes 2 naps, and most days he is taking 1 nap. I usually nurse him to sleep, unless he's fallen asleep in the car on the way home. I put him down in his crib and he has no issue completing his nap in his crib.
At night, I usually nurse him to sleep, although lately he has been nursing, unlatching and then falling asleep on his own (detached from the boob-LOL). Once he falls asleep at night, I transfer him to his crib and let him start out the night sleeping in his crib. As I mentioned above, he gets up sometime overnight...sometimes its 11pm and sometimes its 1am or after. I get him out of his crib when he wakes, and nurse him back to sleep. ideally I would then put him back in his crib again, but to be honest, when I am half asleep, I barely have to energy to turn of the light again, nevermind get up and put him in the crib again. When you're not completely "with it" and still half sleeping and trying to breastfeed, getting him back into the crib is on the back burner. So once he wakes up overnight, I let him stay in our bed for the second half of the night.
I have said on many nights: okay, when he wakes up, I will breastfeed him and then put him back in the crib, and a few times I have, and most times, I am too tired.
So, that is where we are at, and honestly, for now, it works.
He is only little once. He is only small and snuggly once.
Before long, he will want to be in his own 'big boy bed' and then before we know it, when he's older and more independent, we'll be lucky to get a hug, nevermind a snuggle.
So I am enjoying our bed sharing for half the night, I am soaking up all the snuggling I can get and I am thankful that we have a strong attachment to our baby.
As many know, and some dont, there is a difference between co-sleeping and bed sharing.
Co-Sleeping: "Though many may assume that co-sleeping means that parents and baby share the same bed, Dr. William Sears stresses that definition is a bit too narrow. Sears, a well-known pediatrician and author of many parenting books, defines co-sleeping as sleeping within arm's reach of the baby." (source)
Bed sharing: Just as it sounds, parents share a bed with baby. So it is more like a family bed, everyone is one bed together.
When our son was born, I knew that bed sharing was not recommended. I knew the risks of having your infant child in your bed with you. While we were in the NICU, upon discharge, they go over a lot of information and one of the topics was bed sharing, which they called co-sleeping, and they said NEVER to do it as it is not safe. We already had it in our mind that we would not be doing that, so it was just a repetition of something we'd already heard.
We did, and continue to, have our sons crib in our room. Our current living situation is a studio apartment type, where we have one big open space and our son has his own little area and then we have ours, but it is an open room, so no dividing walls between our room and the 'nursery'. I was happy with this as we'd be able to get up with our son overnight very easily.
So were we bed sharing? No. But were we co-sleeping? Yes.
Our son only slept thru the night for a short time, and it wasn't consistent. He still gets up at least once overnight.
Would he be sleeping thru the night if he was in his own separate room? maybe...but for now, this is what works for us.
And, breastfeeding is far too important to me, that I am not willing to take that away from him especially the overnight feedings.
And then, last Christmas time, we went to visit family, and my son absolutely refused to sleep in the pack n' play. And we tried, and tired, and he was not having it. at all. So to save ourselves and the family we were visiting, and let everyone get some sleep, we let him sleep in the bed with us. This was the first time we ever shared a bed in his whole 10 months of life. We had never once had him in our bed before this. Well, after we got home, things didn't go back to normal so easily. He continued to want to be in our bed with us, and to be honest, we let it continue.
I looked into and researched different methods, cry it out, ferber, sleep training, I looked into all kinds of options and I just wasn't okay with anything I was reading.
Not only am I not okay with letting my baby cry it out, but we also live with other adults who should not have to listen to our baby continue to cry while we try to "sleep train" him.
I know there are parents who do this, and that is complete okay, and if it works for them, that is great. But for us, it just doesn't work for our family situation.
So, we let him share our bed, and I worked on getting him into his crib for some of his sleep.
Where are we at now? Our son takes his naps in his crib. Some days he takes 2 naps, and most days he is taking 1 nap. I usually nurse him to sleep, unless he's fallen asleep in the car on the way home. I put him down in his crib and he has no issue completing his nap in his crib.
At night, I usually nurse him to sleep, although lately he has been nursing, unlatching and then falling asleep on his own (detached from the boob-LOL). Once he falls asleep at night, I transfer him to his crib and let him start out the night sleeping in his crib. As I mentioned above, he gets up sometime overnight...sometimes its 11pm and sometimes its 1am or after. I get him out of his crib when he wakes, and nurse him back to sleep. ideally I would then put him back in his crib again, but to be honest, when I am half asleep, I barely have to energy to turn of the light again, nevermind get up and put him in the crib again. When you're not completely "with it" and still half sleeping and trying to breastfeed, getting him back into the crib is on the back burner. So once he wakes up overnight, I let him stay in our bed for the second half of the night.
I have said on many nights: okay, when he wakes up, I will breastfeed him and then put him back in the crib, and a few times I have, and most times, I am too tired.
So, that is where we are at, and honestly, for now, it works.
He is only little once. He is only small and snuggly once.
Before long, he will want to be in his own 'big boy bed' and then before we know it, when he's older and more independent, we'll be lucky to get a hug, nevermind a snuggle.
So I am enjoying our bed sharing for half the night, I am soaking up all the snuggling I can get and I am thankful that we have a strong attachment to our baby.
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