smells & sounds
It is amazing that some smells and sounds can bring you back to a certain time and place. Your brain and your body just remember and these certain connections have been made. Even months later, certain smells, sounds, sights, tastes and feelings can propel you right back to some memories.
I have come to realize that there are certain things that bring me right back to the NICU and the Special Care Nursery (SPC) and just the hospital in general. I have formed connections to those places and that time in our life.
Here are some of the things that take me right back to that time and place:
-the sound of the breast pump. Each day as we spent the day with our son in the hospital, I would pump my breast milk for him every few hours. I was exclusively pumping at that time, so it was something I was doing a lot. Now, when I pump, the sound and feeling reminds me of all the time I spent pumping for him those first few weeks.
-the smell of Gold Bond medicated body lotion in the mint green bottle. When I went for my first postpartum check up, we went without our son. At that appointment the nurse suggested I buy this lotion to help with the extreme dry skin on my stomach. I bought it and started using it and it relieved the dry skin and felt wonderful but the smell was (and still is) very powerful. I would apply this lotion in the morning after my shower and before we went to visit with our baby boy for the day so the smell was something i connected with sitting with our son.
-the sound of the monitors they use at the hospital. Our son was hooked up to the monitor and if any of his vitals fell below a certain point, the alarms on the monitor would sound and in the NICU and SPC, the alarms went off almost constantly. The reason is, the sticky tabs that are applied to the skin often detached, and then the monitor wouldn't pick up the vital sign, and then the alarm would go off. I remember we watched that monitor like hawks. We were constantly checking the numbers and watching the heart rate bounce on the screen. Anytime the alarm sounded our eyes glued to the screen to check if it was our son. The monitor gave us both a lot of anxiety on top of everything else that was going on.
-the smell of certain types of hand sanitizer. Hand Sanitizer stations are everywhere in the hospital and people are constantly using them. It was just another smell that connected our time there and we have one bottle of hand sanitizer here at our house that has that certain smell and every time someone uses it i think of the hospital.
-the sight of the hospital swaddle blankets. you know those ones with the blue and pink stripes? We ended up coming home with some, and every time I spot them in the drawer I think of the time we spent with a swaddled bundle in the hospital.
there are more things that remind me of those 3 weeks. Some affect me more than others. Of course I am forever thankful that my son is now healthy and we got through the rough time together...but the entire experience was somewhat traumatizing and I definitely have some PTSD type things from it. I am happy that it has been almost a year since all of that happened and we are living happy and healthily now.
I have come to realize that there are certain things that bring me right back to the NICU and the Special Care Nursery (SPC) and just the hospital in general. I have formed connections to those places and that time in our life.
Here are some of the things that take me right back to that time and place:
-the sound of the breast pump. Each day as we spent the day with our son in the hospital, I would pump my breast milk for him every few hours. I was exclusively pumping at that time, so it was something I was doing a lot. Now, when I pump, the sound and feeling reminds me of all the time I spent pumping for him those first few weeks.
-the smell of Gold Bond medicated body lotion in the mint green bottle. When I went for my first postpartum check up, we went without our son. At that appointment the nurse suggested I buy this lotion to help with the extreme dry skin on my stomach. I bought it and started using it and it relieved the dry skin and felt wonderful but the smell was (and still is) very powerful. I would apply this lotion in the morning after my shower and before we went to visit with our baby boy for the day so the smell was something i connected with sitting with our son.
-the sound of the monitors they use at the hospital. Our son was hooked up to the monitor and if any of his vitals fell below a certain point, the alarms on the monitor would sound and in the NICU and SPC, the alarms went off almost constantly. The reason is, the sticky tabs that are applied to the skin often detached, and then the monitor wouldn't pick up the vital sign, and then the alarm would go off. I remember we watched that monitor like hawks. We were constantly checking the numbers and watching the heart rate bounce on the screen. Anytime the alarm sounded our eyes glued to the screen to check if it was our son. The monitor gave us both a lot of anxiety on top of everything else that was going on.
-the smell of certain types of hand sanitizer. Hand Sanitizer stations are everywhere in the hospital and people are constantly using them. It was just another smell that connected our time there and we have one bottle of hand sanitizer here at our house that has that certain smell and every time someone uses it i think of the hospital.
-the sight of the hospital swaddle blankets. you know those ones with the blue and pink stripes? We ended up coming home with some, and every time I spot them in the drawer I think of the time we spent with a swaddled bundle in the hospital.
there are more things that remind me of those 3 weeks. Some affect me more than others. Of course I am forever thankful that my son is now healthy and we got through the rough time together...but the entire experience was somewhat traumatizing and I definitely have some PTSD type things from it. I am happy that it has been almost a year since all of that happened and we are living happy and healthily now.
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